Bed bugs! I scratch in the night. I wake up with little marks on me. And I'm certain I heard a squealing noise last night similiar to the aliens from "Alien". I did some sleuthing this morning and was non too surprised to discover that bed bugs are making a comeback! Here are some choice quotes from the article:
"When you're sleeping in your own bed, and you're senseless, they come out and take a blood meal," he says. "That's creepy."
"It's a psychological issue," says Mannes. "You don't want to go to bed and think, "Oh, something's going to bite me and drink my blood."
"There's a major yuck factor here."
Indeed there is some yuck going on! I'm certain a contributing factor is our eating on the futon which then becomes our spot of slumber; our carnal cradle. There seems to be an abundant amount of crumbs in our bed. At a posh dinner, giddy in a wino's stupor, I went as far as to (half)jokingly ask the waitress if I could borrow her crumb scraper for my futon. She darted away and avoided eye contact with me for the rest of the meal. Sigh... Sleep tight dear reader.