June 10, 2005

It's Alive! ALIVE!!

How ever did it happen?

One moment, I was casually cuddling in the warm arms of my boyfriend after joyfully, carefully inserting my... DVD. "I bet you'll like this show. It's called Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Suddenly, only two months later, said boyfriend is up every night watching mini-marathons of three, four, sometimes five episodes of Buffy and moody spin-off Angel. I'm holding him, and now he's shaking, shivering from withdrawal symptoms because he didn't make it to Tower Records in time to purchase season four. That night he had to go cold turkey.

I've created a monster, a monster that not even Buffy herself could slay. But, oh, it is so nice when we are watching our cult serial. Holding him and laughing all over again at my favorite television show, I feel as though I've somehow stepped back in time for an hour (or six...egads!) Ah, boyfriends, gotta love 'em. I casually mentioned I had an ancient magazine with Buffy on the cover. Upon his frenzied request, I carefully de-sleeved my precious Entertainment Weekly featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar in leather pants. I think it carbon dates all the way back to 1999. Upon doing so, I came across an old letter written to an online boyfriend of many years back. I read the letter while Bryce ooohed and aaahed at the magazine, turning each page with tweezers.

In retrospect, I realize how strange the world of online dating is. In no way am I hating on it. My first and formative relationship was one made of sleepy, late night phone calls and a mystery boy who ne'er I saw, but with whom always I typed. However now having moved from the internet and into leather bars (where I snagged my snuggly mate), I now see the light; even if it's the blood-red light of a naked crimson bulb hung above an oily, oaken boot-shine chair. Not strange whatsoever.

Online you get to read, instantly, that a potential mate is obsessed with pun spouting Vampire slayers. Or at least has the potential for such addiction. Whereas face-to-face that initial attraction is all about looks and pheromones and roughly muscling past your friends so you can have the first shot at love, or at least a night of cuddling and smooching. Emotion and interests are expressed gradually, preferably not standing on Oprah's couch. Online emotion is expressed through a continuously expanding array of creepy smileys. :)

Smileys do everything these days! They aren't limited to just smiling. Smileys surf. Smileys cheer. Smileys paint. Their opposite, the poutey, do just as much: weeping, holding lileys and waving goodbye. All lead a more enriched life than I do at times. :(

Reading those old letters from my mystery boyfriend of years past made me a wee bit melancholy. I always feel a little sad when thinking of past relationships. They also pointed out what a different person I was during that powerful year, and how definitely I wasn't ready to meet my love, glowering at a pee trough, wearing a studded harness.

Online dating is a huge deal these days. Look no further than the glowing, hetero couples cooing the match-making success of such sites as eHarmony.com. EHarmony has gotten much press lately. In Salon, Rebecca Traister nicely chats it up with the surprisingly introspective and eloquent creator of eHarmony, Neil Clark Warren. He's the stately older gentleman in the commercials telling us we all deserve to find that special someone to wear leather zipper masks and watch DVDs with.

Unfortunately eHarmony doesn't cater to queers, but Mr. Warren provides some very moderate, Christian opinions about his reasoning for such. I think his views match those of the average Christian regarding gay and lesbian marriage. Times they are a changing, slowly.

I don't know if I'm ready for marriage myself. I am ready for more Buffy, and a nice Malbec and cuddling. Melancholy slain, it becomes harmony. I wish I had a smiley for that.

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