April 01, 2005

Tiara Rollover

Not since I lost the crown in 2004's Mr. Metrocub Contest, has the nation been rocked by a pagentry scandal of such epic proportions. You might want to sit down for this.

Wiconsin Ms. Wheelchair, Janeal Lee (not pictured), has lost her crown.
How did this disabled diva from the cheese state loose her coveted title? Was it drugs? Was it payola? In reviewing the pageant did the judges discover Ms. Wisconsin didn't pop the allotted number of wheelies during her talent presentation? No...

She was photographed standing up. . . and with a math class, nonetheless. EGADS! I don't blame the state pageant officials.
Roll her out of there!

April Fool's Day joke, right? No. Ms. Wheelchair is a legitimate pageant circuit where four-wheeling foxes take to the stage to become rolemodels (or is that roll-model) for disabled women and girls across the country. But there are strict guidelines regarding the winner's public behavior:

Candidates for the crown have to "mostly be seen in the public using their wheelchairs or scooters," said Judy Hoit, Ms. Wheelchair America's treasurer. "Otherwise you've got women who are in their wheelchairs all the time and they get offended if they see someone standing up. We can't have title holders out there walking when they're seen in the public."
Suffice to say, standing for a photo-op is a no-no. Hackel added that the former Ms. Wisconsin Wheelchair should have been aware of the rules. The crown now goes to first runner-up Michelle Kearney of Milwaukee, who will burn rubber into New York for July's Ms. Wheelchair national pageant. And you can bet your helper monkey I'm going to be there too, cheering her on to victory!

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