Rosie Retardo

Six words: Rosie O'Donnell acting like she's retarded. Man-oh-man, whats better than when respected actors pretend to have a mental difficiency? Answer: when a former comedienne turned talk-show-host does it. (Ellen, don't you dare!)

Personally, I'm thrilled for Rosie! Bryce and I were sitting on the sofa when those touching strings of Hallmark Hall of Fame music came streaming across the commercials, and there, sure enough was Rosie grinning like a psycho and chasing Andie MacDowell. (I thought Rosie was acting normal until Bryce confirmed that, no, she was indeed pretending to be retarded!) Forget Star Wars, I absolutely can't wait to see this piece of crap!

Ohmygod! The whole affair just reminded me of Joey! I kid you not. After all, would I lie to you guys? Joey is a character I've played three times on the streets of New York. Clad in my brown hoodie, a pair of slacks, a white collared button down, burgundy tie and sneakers, on a few occassions I have questioned street vendors and pedestrians as a person suffering from mental retardation. "Mah naym is Joooooeeeey. Dooo you like Spider-Maaan!?" HAHA...Thank you Rosie for sparking my own failed memory. But enough about me, let's get back to this tragic television movie, "Riding the Bus with My Sister".

Bryce's good friend (and DJ-diva) Matilda von Crumbcake forwarded him an urgent plea regarding an absurd/awesome online poll asking "has a retard ever touched your life?" The letter is very thorough (although a bit p.c. for my tastes) and includes some fascinating history detailing celebrities acting retarded and goes thusly (edited for length and the funny bits I've stolen. Also the links are my addition):

". . . This is the latest in a string of movies in which non-developmentally disabled actors play developmentally disabled adults, dating back to the early '80s TV movie "Bill" (starring Mickey Rooney as a school janitor who accidentally burns the school down), to the 1999 Gary Marshall film, "The Other Sister" (starring Juliette Lewis and Giovanni Ribisi as two developmentally disabled young people in love), all the way up to the 2002 film, "Radio" (starring Cuba Gooding, Jr. as the inspirational water boy of a football team). All of the actors in these movies made the foolish choice of playing retarded people, and only one of them has ever pulled it off with some semblance of dignity: Leonardo DiCaprio in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape." It's embarrassing. And keep in mind, these people are real actors. . . The reason I bring this to your attention is because the official website is currently featuring a thought-provoking poll on the lower right-hand corner of the page: "Has a developmentally disabled person ever touched your life? "I urge you to vote "no" on the poll. Please join in my mission to make "no" be the winner of this inane poll. Even if your life has been touched by a developmentally disabled person, take the time to vote. In the process, we'll all be teaching the producers of this movie and its website a passive aggressive lesson about insulting everyone's intelligence. Please forward this email on to your friends, co-workers and loved ones. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely, Nick Prueher

Bravo Nick! I salute your endeavor and have already voted "NO". May your knowledge of actors acting retarded inspire millions to your cause!!!!!