Lament of the $9.27 Salad
By Gayest Neil
Such pleasing greens
With teasing yellows
My crispy charade
Selections so mellow
A plastic bowl my canvas.
Unto which piled I edible hues;
Succulent spinach and
Pungent cheeses of bleu
Chicken Cajun spiced,
Sprinkled with corn so sweet
So fresh, so nice.
“NEXT?!!” Hector cried!
Thusly eyed I via sneeze guard
Urged on by my Mexican tosser
Broccoli verdant and gourds?
“Hector NO!” (Squash is softer)
Zounds! Free choices four:
Croutons, red onion, scallions
One more? Soy sprouts? “Doubt it.
Vinegar & oil, please!" by the gallions
“What karat is that veggie?” Kidding,
And more, "Orange you gonna add
A bunny's treat to mine
Lunch?" My latest diet fad.
Exercise I duly received upon
Hefting mine profound veggie bowl
"Did river rocks I order Hector?"
The salad weighed heavy like this dandy’s soul.
Unto the petite cashier
Lugged I my leaden legumes
She glanced at my construction
Glanced into my eyes, and resumed
Fingers so quick flew cross keys
A drzzt drzzt brrr drzzt ripped
Handed I the printed receipt
Fainting from consciousness, I slipped!
I came to thinking t’was
All but macabre nightmare
A fool’s poem of vinegar tossed veggies
A warning for kids to scare
Hector rocked me in arms so strong
The deli crowd’s sorrowful pity
Whilst that ticket scorched my hand
Beguiled by fucking bacon bits so itty so bitty
Paid I the nine dollars terrible
With twenty seven cent sacrament
Unto my hungry luncheon gluttony.
(Even free bread failed to ease my lament.)