February 24, 2006

Bamboo and Wood

Dream a “little” dream? Hardly. In my dreams size is definitely an issue. I’ve been dreaming about the male member lately. Specifically disembodied penises and symbolically the castration of my own malehood via the cutting of “wood” and hair, ala Samson and Delilah. And yes, I was the Samson in the dream.

Let’s talk about the specifics and then we can move on to the symbolic.

So I dreamed I owned a new device – a little white box similar to my Macintosh Performa’s 1200 baud modem from 1994. It was identical in shape, a small flat rectangle, color, a creamy pearl, and sound, it buzzed and beeped when connected.

The one difference? Along the top was a round circle covered in serrated white rubber. That and by request a giant penis would pop out of it and wiggle about my desk. Creamy pearl, indeed!

So there I was in my dream. Chatting online with a complete stranger and I ask something like, can I see it? It being you know what. I watch him via a video bubble as he takes his little white box, gently places his thingie into it and shocked and pleased as it emerges on my desk.

I swear I didn’t do a thing with it.

But I was wowed by the technology! I totally remember laughing and thinking, “What will those internet guys think up next?” I may have even called my friends.

I had forgotten this dream until Aaron posted an opinion regarding the observed disconnect between the actual/physical persona of bloggers or online-folk versus the presented/meta persona of the same.

Let’s just say it’s been my experience that an 11 online is usually a 6 in the real world. So there is indeed a disconnect between the wanting the sex online versus the actual getting it. Which leads me to (apparently) my dream’s solution, a penis via your modem.

Whatever. Dreams mean a lot of things.

Let’s go to the symbolism of my bald head suddenly sprouting bamboo shoots. Dream number two involved me sunbathing and discovering bamboo had grown from my bald, stubbly noggin.

And it looked fierce! The bamboo was pliable, so I could bend it and shape it into different styles. The slender leaves were like a botanical, feathered fan.

I was totally working a Farrah, if Farrah had been a Pokemon.

Certainly all wood things come to pass eventually. And sure enough, my second dream’s bamboo-doo began to molt and I was left with thorny bamboo shards sticking out of the back and sides of my bald, bald, bald head.

It was very punk and very menacing, but I needed to have them removed. I had work the next morning. So who else than Liz, the fiercest girlfriend ever of Jenn at MoufaisBad? Noone else.

Liz (always with nicely colored and coifed hair of her own) pulled out her leatherman tool accessory and right there on the beach began to painfully prune my head. It was so weird.

And then – when all was said and done and I was sitting in the sand and carved remains of my once lovely wooden hair, I looked in the mirror and…

The bloody bamboo stumps had sprouted fine corn silk. And it hung about my head like a golden halo. I shook my head and ran my fingers through it. I looked like Prince Valiant! I was so pleased.

I didn't question why I had a mirror at the beach. But I soon discovered my hair was fake. It was a wig. Liz laughed because she put a trashy wig on my head when I wasn't looking. Not that I mind wearing a trashy wig on occassion.

I love dreams.

1 comment:

bryce said...

I vaguely remember being told about the bamboo shoot dream when I was 3/4 asleep. That is sooo fucking nasty. I will never eat Chinese food again.