January 26, 2006

Anger Patch

My Anger Patch is doing wonders for my temper. I’m very fortunate as my health insurance pays for my Anger Patch. It’s a little red square which adheres to my skin and regulates my annoyance towards much of modern New York life. I’m at the end of stage one. Tomorrow I merrily skip down to stage two.

Ah… thank you Anger Patch, I haven’t been this happy since … well, since never!

I’ve created a jingle for my Anger Patch. I seriously want to spread the word on these mood altering buggers.
Slap one on so
You won’t slap a ho
It’s the Anger Patch!
The Anger Patch!

Kick, yell, punch, grab,
Brawl, scream, stomp, jab
Not with Anger Patch!
The Anger Patch!

It’s a little red square
that’ll save your life
You won’t scare your kids
Or your docile wife

No more A-N-G-E-R
Buy one you’ll go far!
With the Anger Patch.
The Anger Patch!

Yes friends, my Anger Patch has worked wonders. I’m as calm as a kitten and looking forward to living a long, healthy life of tranquil tantrum-free blah. Who wants vanilla pudding? I do!

Anger Patch!

2 comments:

colleen said...

ANGER PATCH???? say wha?

Anonymous said...

i love you, gayest neil. you don't know me but i do.