November 09, 2005

Sky Fell...

The flags are at half mast over the Magical Kingdom today. Confusion during what should have been a routine press junket for Disney/Pixar’s latest animated film “Chicken Little” resulted in the brutal killing of the movie’s star, Chicken Little.

An anonymous eye witness had this to say, “Oh my God. It was horrible! The screaming and the bloody feathers! Oh God, poor Chicken Little! What a horrible way to die.”

The movie’s miniscule star was completing a promotional tour of China’s Liaoning province in preparation for the movie’s November 11th Asian premiere. The province, close to the North Korean border, has killed close to 370,000 birds after nearly 9,000 chickens were found to possess the avian flu virus.

“Chicken Little was definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time,” said Terrell Jones, bus driver. “There was all these little Chinese kids trying to get his autograph. Chickie Wittle! Chickie Wittle! they was saying. Suddenly these guys in white lab coats snatches him up and tossed him in barrel of dead, rotten chickens. They pulled out rusty machetes before anyone even knew what was going on! Shit.”

The press junket quickly became a mob scene as Disney representatives surged to save the star and Chinese health professionals went to business. Photographers caught the gruesome murder on film, but Disney has asked out of respect for the actor's family that none of the brutal images be published.

Said another unnamed Disney employee, “Crying toddlers with posters to be signed. It leaves an impression on you. There are iconic images when I think of China, the lone student standing up against the tanks in Tiananmen Square, for example. But for me it’s forever going to be a little pair of green, horn rimmed glasses laying there with one drop of blood on them.”


QueerPop said...

You're killin me Gayest Neil ! LOLOLOL

QueerPop said...

You;re killin me Gayest Neil!