September 27, 2004

Women of Mass Destruction

An unnamed television insider reported an exclusive tidbit that Hollywood producers are fast on track launching a new all-female, action vehicle called WMD, Women of Mass Destruction, to be released as a Fox midseason replacement.

The espionage series stars tinsel town newcomers, Rihab Rashid Taha as herself, the Iraqi biochemist known as “Dr. Germ” and Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, an Iraqi biotech researcher also playing herself as “Mrs. Anthrax”.

When asked how Fox secured such high profile stars, our insider replied, “Let’s just say the Hollywood machine is a little more sophisticated than those kooks doing all that beheading.”

Well here’s a heads-up: word is these gals are going to set Hollywood on fire, possibly literally!

Said our insider, “They have timing and they have spunk. We’re going to see these two on the big screen someday.” That is if they don’t get arrested again. While on location, production halted when Dr. Germ unleashed a gangrene gas bomb at the craft services table, melting three extras and blinding twelve.

Said an intern, “You know, stars have their tempers, but Germie was a trooper. She got right back into the scene and made sure production wrapped, not only early that day, but she brought brownies too. No one ate the brownies though.”

Located in the fictitious country of Irakistan, WMD centers around three Islamic spies who take global missions of terror from a mysterious voice who they only refer to as “Mr. O”. Dr. Germ is the brains of the operation. Mrs. Anthrax is the muscle and Trixie provides the much needed comic relief. Trixie is played by television’s Kathy Griffin. I caught up with Griffin on the set during a routine dog sweep.

“Oh my God! I mean, oh my Allah! Rihab and Huda are a hoot to work with. These ladies keep you on your toes. That’s for sure.

“For instance, I came out of my trailer last week and there was Huba all staring at me. I’m like, ‘Hey Huba, you want to practice our scene?’ And she’s like, ‘I’m going to cut out your tongue you Israeli whore!’

“And she jumps me with this knife and I’m like ‘Huba, relax! I’m not Jewish. I’m Catholic!’ Well, she beat the shit out of me and we had a good laugh about it later that day.

Laughs are plenty in the show as Griffin’s comic knack and Dr. Germ’s deadpan create a Three’s Company meets the Faces of Death. “Matched with action scenes involving actual Americans killed on screen, WMD straddles the line between serial and reality television,” said executive producer Dick Cheney.

“Reality is here to stay and yes we’ve gotten some flack about real Americans dying by these wacko broads’ hands, but America has to realize this could happen to them any day at any moment. Seeing it on television only reinforces that. Vote Bush.”

I don’t know about the voting for Bush, but we do know this show is going to be DA BOMB!

No comments: